Another Year, More of Me

     2018 was a year of despair, grief and growth and as per usual with a new year coming, I told myself I'd do better. It was also a year of change for me or must I say, the old me that was lost years ago, came back. And it's a blast.

     Yet another set of fireworks still it looks kind of the same as last year. One thing different is what I'm feeling. During the last seconds of 2017 all I did was to cry. It felt painful and satisfying to end the year. But during the last ticks of the clock for 2018, I cried, I also did but the reason for it is completely the opposite. Happiness was all it was that contained my heart. Looking back on all of what God has given me made emotional to the point that I questioned myself if I'm even worthy of all of it that was on my plate. I've been rude and mean to some of the people around me. There were also times I swore on the name of God. But still, He was still patient enough to accept me not only at times of  my best but also at my worst. He accepted me and embraced me even though thorns were all around my body. Even though I'm flawed. Slowly, I realized how he never left me. How He was patiently waiting for my retreat. He was always by my side. And i hit me. As a payback for all of what He bestowed upon me, my family and all the people around me, I came back to my senses. The old me was finally back and i am more than grateful.

      Ending a whole calendar and replacing it with a new one doesn't always mean you throw a version of yourself with it. Instead, as you add up a day to your life, take it as an opportunity to improve. Make everyday count. Its not only every new year that you can change for the better. Everyday is a gift, make it last.